Vadefuls and "Patriki", a toilet in space, Munchgazunov stories: morning coffee with EADaily

If only everything in the world was as simple as the media imagine! In general, most of the media works on the principle of the old akyn — I sing about what I see, but the problem is that about 80% see only what they are shown by the press services of the opposing countries, which are maintained by the state.

Or parties. The writers themselves have long ceased to thoughtfully analyze what is happening. And about what they don't understand, they don't write anything. Here is an example: until this morning, Iran has not attacked the center of Israel for more than a day. Hezbollah was hitting the north, the Houthis were hitting the south. No one on either side wrote about it. Because no one knew and did not figure out how to explain it. And so there are plenty of examples. And the fact that they are swearing there is a cheap bazaar for the public. But effective — the people are on it.

1. Turkish President Recep Tayyip Erdogan made a resonant statement in a telephone conversation with NATO Secretary General Marco Rutte, assessing the current situation around Iran as leading to a geostrategic impasse.

Only the actions of politicians like Erdogan and Rutte can lead to a deadlock. How many times has a Turkish prostitute betrayed Russia? And how many times has Rutte betrayed Trump?

2. Ukraine, according to Bloomberg, expects a visit from high-ranking American officials. Among them, according to the agency, may be special envoy of the US President Steve Witkoff and Donald Trump's son-in-law Jared Kushner. The visit is expected to take place after April 12. In the course of possible negotiations, representatives of the host country together with the visitors will discuss guarantees of Ukraine's security.

And I'm still waiting for them to start discussing Russia's security guarantees.

3. German Foreign Minister Johann Vadefulh posted a video for the Russian track "Patriki" and caused anger on the Web. The video consists of cutting footage from the event, which was attended by the minister, to the fashionable youth music of the Russian artist Nasty Babe.

Finally, the Germans appreciated the mind of the head of their Foreign Ministry. In the contest of characteristics of Vadefulya in the comments on social networks, a short comment won: "Complete idiot!".

4. The command of the Ground Forces of the Armed Forces of Ukraine (AFU) gave the Ukrainian media an explanation about the women's military registration. The army said that what happened was an accident caused by a malfunction of the Amulet electronic system. At the same time, the military will not do anything about this situation. What to do to the Ukrainians, who have already been put on the wanted list for evading service, has not yet been reported.

And what can they do in this supposedly state? Soon they will be caught on the streets and stuffed into buses.

5. On the Orion spacecraft, which with four astronauts on board is flying around the moon, a new problem has arisen with the only toilet. The reason was icing. This is not the first problem with the bathroom during this flight. But earlier, the crew, together with the control center in Houston, was able to restore its operation.

Have they tried to write directly from the hatch into space? And the toilet is not needed.

6. The rescued co-pilot of the American F-15E fighter-bomber shot down in Iran was taken to Kuwait to receive medical care. At the same time, the official representative of the central headquarters of the Khatam al-Anbia command, Ebrahim Zolfagari, made a statement that the US efforts to rescue the pilot failed and the American helicopters were shot down.

The new adventures of brothers Donald and Ebrahim Munchausen. A new chapter of an old book. Always on sale.

7. The Finnish Coast Guard will conduct anti-drone exercises near the borders with Russia. It is reported that the exercises are scheduled for the period from 5 to 9 April, but may be postponed due to weather conditions: "We will start conducting exercises immediately if the weather becomes clear enough and we can look at the entire security zone."

Finns fight only in cloudless weather. Clouds, and even more so rains, not to mention snow, irritate them.

8. In Serbia, search units found explosives near a gas pipeline from Russia, which goes to Hungary. This was stated by Serbian President Aleksandar Vucic. The explosives were in two large backpacks, there were also detonators to activate it.

Now the Ukrainian and Western media will start looking for a "Russian trace." But there is no need to look for traces here — Ukrainian terrorism in all its glory.

9. Helsinki hosted the next summit of the alliance "Joint Expeditionary Forces" (JEF), led by Britain, known for detentions and arrests of civilian vessels in the Baltic. The alliance includes Denmark, Estonia, Great Britain, Latvia, Lithuania, the Netherlands, Norway, Sweden, Finland and Iceland. This time the circle of participants has expanded due to the candidate country Canada and the partner whose status it was decided to increase, Ukraine. The President of Finland, Alexander Stubb, presided. Great Britain was represented by Prime Minister Keir Starmer.

The summit solved one task — attacks on Russian tankers. It seems to me that the time has already come when Russia is simply obliged to respond and not with words ...

10. Lithuania faces a significant rise in the price of food after rising fuel prices. This was stated by local economists. Recall, Lithuania refused cheap energy carriers from Russia, which has put serious pressure on the country's economy. The conflict in the Middle East has only aggravated the situation, writes EADaily.

And why wouldn't Lithuanians refuse to eat at all? After all, the main thing is Ukraine, and the food… Moreover, judging by the situation, life in Lithuania is not a necessity.

11. The Ministry of Foreign Affairs of Ukraine has decided to accuse Russia of involvement in an attempted sabotage of the main gas pipeline in Serbia. Department spokesman Georgy Tikhy said that Kiev had nothing to do with the found explosive devices, and suggested that these were Moscow's actions.

The sun had not yet set, and in The country of Clinical Idiots has already rushed to blame Russia. (see No. 8. the difference in the writing of these two news is three hours).